The domineering bitch!
I am an extremely dominant person to the extent that it hurts! Well maybe the right word would be domineering here! A control freak who doesn’t care for the limits! This overwhelming characteristic is usually getting me into a lot trouble. I hurt people I love and I cannot help but still persist on my own stance! Now that I am on the self-battering mood today let me tell you that I enjoy and have gotten used to seeing people surrender on their knees; and believe me I've seen one too many do so. It doesn’t fill me with pride to say that I know the art of manipulation; as a matter of fact I would be getting my masters in it soon!
Now what is the cause of this sudden frank observation of my own vice, you may ask. I hurt my sister today because at a moment that she thought she needed me I simply walked out on her because she wasn’t acting as cool as I expected her to do. It was going to be her first encounter with the business world and she said she wanted me to go with her to give her confidence. So I planned my day to be able to accompany her to the law office, so that we would release the goods of her shop and take them there.
Well you see, I have been working since I was a teenager and so I'm quite familiar with how it goes, she, on the other hand, has never had to deal with this kind of things. I was trying to be as tyrannical as ever and she, being the elder sister, was trying her best not to give in! She was acting as if she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Well it wasn’t working so I told her to calm down or I shall leave, she said leave then, and so I left her standing there, because I felt my presence was merely making her panic more. End of story! When I came back home I felt as if I have deserted her exactly when she thought she needed me but I was too angry to think clearly. As usual the damn ego got the best of me and now that I'm typing these words she's out there doing God knows what, and I'm worried out of mind!
Suits me fine, huh? God, I'm never going to learn to stand back sometimes and let others take control or at least let them feel like they're doing it! I just have to have the last word, and I have left her all high and dry… Damn.
ps. She just got back, kissed me and said that she is sorry that she has behaved like a nervous wrack! She says I was right and it was no big deal and that she could handle it perfectly and then she thanked me for leaving her to learn on her own! You see, other people encourage me to be as I am even though it bothers them sometimes, I guess my exceeding self-confidence and eccentricity empowers them to be able to count on me as a strong ally! They don’t even let me feel guilty more than an hour :)))))))
